As writers, we are often encouraged to join writing groups and critique circles to share our stories and get feedback on our work. Is this a good idea?
My hot take is this— a bad writing group will set you back years while a good writing group can propel you forward. When the proper requirements are met, it is a great idea, but until it is the right time with the best people, opt out of these groups. Here is why.
When I was in graduate school, I had one horrible experience after another with mandatory writer critique classes. Unfortunately, these are a mainstay of many writing programs. It is common for classmates, who are practically strangers, to come together and share their thoughts about each others’ work. Depending on the professor’s abilities to manage group dynamics, it can go quite badly. Many a sensitive writer is intimidated into silence by the process, many a vulnerable individual is led astray by wrongheaded advice. The feedback sessions where I shared my writing were always anxiety-producing ordeals. Often, I felt rejected and intimidated. I seldom felt encouraged or understood.
These early experiences with writing groups made me fearful to share my writing openly for many years. Unfortunately, my experience is not unique. After years of reflection, I realized that I was facing two difficult problems—an inner crisis of confidence and an outer problem with group dynamics.
As a young writer, I lacked confidence in my voice, message, and skills as a writer. I needed time to heal from the early criticism. In addition, I needed privacy to experiment with styles and practice new techniques. This was not an overnight transformation. It took decades of personal journaling, strong friendships, and some therapy to feel secure enough in my abilities to publish my first novel. This gradual change might have been accelerated if I had been self aware enough to know my hang ups and to intentionally work on them when I was young. However, it is almost impossible to know what we don’t know that we don’t know. At this point, I am smart enough to know it isn’t worth beating myself up over not having self confidence—that would be like punching myself in the eye, again! Instead, I cultivate practices that increase my courage when insecurity rears its ugly head.
As a writer and teacher of writing, I have thought a great deal about what makes writing groups work. I do not want other writers to fall victim to the same destructive group dynamics that harmed me. Thus, I have looked at my most positive experiences with getting critical feedback as a writer, and I have come up with a list of what makes a safe space for sharing creative works. Four things are needed: trust, cheerleading, and curiosity, all before critique.
Trust—The individuals in the group should know each other and trust each other. When there are established friendships among the writers in a group, it makes communication easier because there are not as many misunderstandings. If a trusted friend critiques your work, there is no doubt that they are trying to help; that their comments are not personal jabs or attempts at oneupmanship. My best writing critics are those people who care about me deeply; they have the best intentions; they can meet me where I am and understand what I am saying. When individuals in the group do not know each other as well, the moderator must be strong enough to set a positive tone and hold fast to a constructive set of rules. In addition, the members must practice apologizing and repairing relationships. This kind of well-organized space can facilitate trust.
Cheerleading—The group should be encouraging and supportive. Writing is hard, and so many things can go wrong in a draft. Writers need to be complimented on the things that are good, funny, enlightening, or moving. Sure there will be mistakes the first few times we work on a piece, but when a writer knows what they are doing well, it will give them the fortitude to keep on going on a project.
Curiosity—Good critique partners ask a lot of questions before giving definitive feedback. When the writing is difficult to understand, not what is expected, or otherwise unusual, the group members should be curious about why instead of judging it as right or wrong. Is this rushed? Is this experimental? Is this emotionally raw? Is this intentional? A compassionate response to the author requires a deeper level of understanding. Questions may illuminate the root cause of concerns.
Critique—First, we must attend to the relationships by building trust and support. Then, we must affirm that a piece of writing is worth all of the effort. Next, we must know what kind of feedback is helpful to the writer. After all of this, a substantive critique of the writing can be heard. However, even then the advice should be couched in terms that the listener can hear. This is where friendships help facilitate communication. When we know people, we can better understand their needs.
We come back to the initial question: Should you join a writing group? These are my questions for you:
- Do you have confidence in your writing? Will other people’s negative opinions harm your ability to keep writing and sharing your work?
- Do you trust the members of the group and feel they have your best-interests at heart? Will they cheer you on and offer constructive comments that will encourage you to write more?
If you know you are ready and the group is good, you should join the writing group. But remember, no decisions are permanent. When things become unsafe or unhelpful, you can make new choices.
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